The 7-up Penis:     The UN-penis
The Alkaseltzer Penis:  Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...  Oh, what a relief it is...
The All State Penis:  You're in good hands.
The American Express Penis:   Don't leave home without it.
The Bacardi Penis:     Taste the feeling.
The Barq's Penis:     The one with bite.
The Beatles Penis:     Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Beavis Penis:     Look! it's changing color!
The Beef Penis:     It's what's for dinner.
The Big Red Penis:     It's longer with big red.
The Borg Penis:     Resistance is futile.
The Bounce Penis:     With Static-Guard!
The Bounty Penis:     The quicker picker-upper.
The Bud Lite Penis:     Great Taste Less Filling:
The Burger King Penis:  Have it your way right away.
The Cambells Soup Penis:   Mmm Mmm Good.
The Captain Planet Penis:  Go PENIS!!
The Champion Penis:     The official penis of the '96 u.s.a. olympic team.
The Charmin Penis:     Don't squeeze the penis!
The Charmin double roll Penis:     It lasts longer because it IS longer.
The Chips Ahoy Penis:     Betcha bite a chip.
The Citibank Visa Penis:      It's everywhere you want to be.
The Cobain Penis:     It blows itself away.
The Crest Penis:     Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.
The Dairy Queen Penis:     Hot eats, cool treats
The Diet Coke Penis:     Just for the taste of it...
The Domino's Pizza Penis:     Deliver's in 30 min or less.
The Doublemint Penis:     Chewing really satisfies.
The Edge shaving cream Penis:     Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.
The Energizer Penis:   It keeps going, and going, and going...
The Equal Penis:     Tastes like Sugar.
The Excedrin Penis:     It's thhhhiiiiiisssss big.
The Extra Penis:     Lasts an extra extra extra long time.
The Flinstones Vitamins Penis:  10 million strong and growing.
The Folger's Crystals Penis: the best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup.
The Frosted Flakes Penis:  They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!
The Generic Penis: one size fits all.
The Gilette Penis: The best a man can get.
The Jell-o Penis: look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.
The Jolly Green *Giant* Penis:  self-explanatory
The Juicyfruit Penis: the taste is gonna move ya.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) Penis: everybody needs a little.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis: finger licking good
The Kix Penis:   kid tested, mother aproved.
The Lay's Penis:  Betcha can't eat just one.
The Life Call Penis:  Its fallen and it can't get up.
The Life Cereal Penis: mikey likes it.
The Life Savers Penis: Five fruity flavors.
The Little Ceaser's Penis:  Penis!! Penis!!
The Lucky Charms Penis:   They're magically delicious.
The M&M's Penis:   melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Macintosh Penis: power is everything.
The Magnavox Penis:   Smart. Very Smart.
The McDonald's Penis:   over 8 billion served.
The Micro Machines Penis: a whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Milk penis (2): it does a body good.
The Milk Penis: (got penis?)
The Mortal Kombat Penis:  Nothing can prepare you.
The Mr. Clean Penis: Is it wet or is it dry?
The Neon Penis: Hi.
The Nike Penis: just do it.
The Nintendo Penis: now you're playing with power.
The Nuprin Penis:  Little, Yellow, Different.
The Nyquil Penis:  the nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest penis.
The Oasis Penis:  Thinks it's the Beatles penis.
The Payday Penis:  Its almost totally nuts!
The Pizza Hut Penis: Makin' it great. Again and Again.
The Pringles Penis:  once you pop, you can't stop
The Purdue Penis: more meat, less bone.
The Purple Pickle Penis: heh heh
The Radio Shack Penis:    You've got questions, we've got answers...
The Ragu Penis:   comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Rave music Penis: Ya'll ready for this?
The Reeses Penis:  How do you eat your penis.
The Rice Krispies Penis:  What does your penis say to you?
The Right Gaurd Penis:   anything less is uncivilized.
The Robitussin Penis: used by nine out of ten moms.
The Sanka Penis (2):  Good to the last drop.
The Sanka Penis:  Get that good to the last drop feeling.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
The Sega Penis:  PENIS!
The Snickers Penis:   It satisfies you.
The Sony Play Station Penis: You are not ready.
The Sprite Penis:   Image is nothing...  Taste is everything.
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Street Fighter II Penis:  Matt, stop, you're getting too good.
The Subway Penis: where fresh is the taste.
The Swiss Miss Penis:  the taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!
The Timex Penis:   takes a lickin and keeps on...
The Tombstone Penis:   what would you like on your penis?
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis:   How many licks DOES it take...?
The Toyota penis (2): You asked for it, you got it...
The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.
The Transformers Penis:   Its more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis:   It makes mouths happy.
The Virginia Slims Penis:  You've come a long way, baby.
The Volkswagen Penis:     Drivers wanted.
The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?
The Windows '95 Penis:  If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Wonder bubbles penis II:  for ages 3 and up
The Wonder bubbles Penis:  Magic wand inside!
The Yellow Pages Penis:  Let your fingers do the walkin.