Life's Truisms

1. All generalizations are false.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

4. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

5. Nobody's ugly after 2am.

6. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

7. Where there's a will, I want to be in it!

8. I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it!

10. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

11. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

12. Always remember you're unique.  Just like everyone else!